Kamis, 12 Februari 2009

2 days before valentine

It's my favorite month, and it getting better because something miraculous happen this month..
After 11 years,I finally got to see you(digitally)..
Whether you care 'bout it or not, I've told you something that I keep for 11 years and doing it is one of the most satisfying thing in my life.
I'm glad to told you that, I'm glad to see your smile, I'm rewinding my feeling for you and it keep going stronger and stronger 'till I couldn't bear it..
It's you, it always you...
I maybe dreaming if I even think that you would care. But I couldn't help it, I'm happy and sad at the same time..I don't know this feeling, it just came at the same time as you remember who I was..
Maybe you with someone else, that's fine. I want you, but not in a bad way. Cos I want you to be happy, and I wanna see it in your face someday if we ever meet again..
And if you let me, I want myself be the person that make you happy for the rest of your life..
I'm not obsessed with you. I'm trying to move on, but I can't do nothing with this feeling. So please don't be scared or anything, I don't mean to make you feel that way..
It's 2 days before valentine, and I'm glad that I find my valentine though I may not ever be with you..
It's not a fairy tale, it happen..
I really wish someday you came back

Minggu, 01 Februari 2009


" Something you can't destroy now, it'll destroy you someday"

Do you believe in that sentence?Cos I do.

Everyone got to change, even if it's only small and ridiculous thing.

If you don't change, you're not living. Or I should call it evolve.

The day you stop evolving, it's gonna be the day you stop living. Or at least it'll be the day you lost your passion in live.

I've lost mine once, and I tell you it's not a good thing.

There's still million things I want to achieve, I want to get a better job, I want a better salary, I want a car, I want to buy a guitar, I want to repair my bike, I want to furnish my room, I want to be a better leader in church, I want to meet pretty girl and fall in love, I want to get married with her and have a boy and girl, I want to buy my own house..I just can't get enough.

I realize that it takes my whole life to achieve it all. But I believe that it's not impossible things to have.

It looks like a bad thing if you seen it as a poorness in my life.

In fact, so many times all those things makes me zest in living.

It's just this thing annoyed me..

I got a lot, I mean really plenty of bad side that I should destroy if I want to evolve and get ready to achieve all that.

Like they say, the biggest enemy is your own ego. That's what I'm having here.

Many times, I couldn't resist to do the wrong thing. It's like I'm born with it..

And it's been so long since I destroy something bad, it's getting much more difficult each time I'm facing myself.

But, there's this beautiful thing called love that give me another change to evolve. Though it's not my first time having thing change, I kind of hopping t's gonna be the last time I'm using it.

When I heard the sentence couple days ago, it scares me a little.

I'm worried if I use all of my change in this world and I'm still bad.

So, I promised myself at least I'll try twice harder from the ussual to conquer myself.

So, right now I'm not ready. But someday I will..